Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I’m not trying to be mean on this day but can’t help it. Stressed out. Mal and rose understands what I mean, and mal don’t ever do what you did what only us know on the 2nd floor. Baik jua aku inda join kau…eish! Celebrated zatul’s birthday…of course, we wouldn’t miss that! SGBSK kaliii aaa…
But we were not complete. Bazla wasn’t there so did Adly. Rose & Mal…omg…aku seriously inda mau think of that cause I’m afraid to join mal…rose and mal cakap sherry kuu cute…of course cuttie kuu kali ah *instead of hottie cause he is not that hot*=P… and oh god, I’m trying to be ignorant of his presence. And I did. But I looked around for him in the afternoon. I wanted to stare into his eyes lagiii. Like we always did when we bumped to each other. God! This is a torture!
I don’t want to fall for him. The problem is I think I’ve fallen for him! Argh! Sasak kuuu eh… paluuiii…don’t do this to me. why? Why? i’m glad I’m over sii prince ‘hidung’ charming but why him? Why can’t I fall for someone else that doesn’t have his status? Why must I suffer?
This is getting on my nerve. I don’t want to care whether he is watching me or not. But I wanted to know. I don’t want to know whether he realizes that I’m trying to be ignorant. But I wanted to know he realized it or not. I’m trying to not care whether my presence means anything to him but I wanted to know. Am I really a something or everything Is just an accident or he did it with most of the girls already or he is just playing with me? or is it just me who misinterpret everything?
He might already have someone else important. So I’ll try to forget him before it turns worse. Besides, we’re not going to see each other more often now so it might be possible. But I don’t know why I feel a tinge of sadness to that. if I could just ask him the truth. If I just could get what I wanted to know. If I just… idk… know what he is thinking. Omg, I feel like falling apart…I’m typing this is the car so I got to hold it back. Too much sad things happen for today. I don’t know if this even considered as a sad thing, I wanted to see his face so much but I couldn’t eventhough he is already standing right in front of me, centimeters away from me. this is freakingly TORTURING!
I’m so sorry! I am so horrible. I know from everyone’s view I’m the one who is crazing over him but can’t help it after what he did to me. I feel like a bitch. I’m trying to stop but I can’t. omg, I remember his first smiling face to us mal. Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry 100000000x.
I want someone to talk with. Someone that would understand and hear and someone who could tell me what to do and make this thing less hurt. I feel sick. Omg mal…I am you on the second floor now. I feel bad for falling for him. For someone who is with that status. Someone who might have someone else important to his life. I’m so out now!
p/s: I’m not just being emotional and talking shits. I’m talking truth. This is my blog so wth, I could type whatever I want! Sorry, I’m just saying that…aku bukannya kan melabih, tapi banar nya! Mal, I’m sorry I can’t help it, sudah tah pasal gay one anii pasal ‘benda’ atuu lagi tu! Ea jahat akuuu! GAY ONE JAHAT AKU! GAY ONE IS TRYING TO KILL ME FROM THE INSIDES!!
A5th posted at 8:18 PM
